If you missed Saturday's roast of Jeff "The Big Dog" Dorsey, you missed helluva show for a great cause. Worry not, The Big Dog is recovering from his repeated third degree burns.

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And for those of you that couldn't join us, here are the Top Ten wickedest jabs thrown Saturday night...at least the ones we could share here (despite what you may have heard, we have standards).


10) "I'd like to thank Jeff for being such an easy target."
-Jared Haugh

9) "The only way Jeff would like Reggie Coleman more is if he were battered and deep fried."
-Steve Looten

8) "If you want to find Jeff at Blues in the District, walk toward Revelry and you’ll see Jeff and a big rock. Jeff is the one on the left."
-Art Awerkamp

7) "Did you see the sportcoat Jared [Haugh] is wearing? I saw that on a corpse at a visitation last week."
-Jeff Dorsey

6) "If any singles ladies want to talk with Dorsey after the show, I have some advice for you. Don’t."
-Jared Haugh

5) "You never get to roast someone intelligent, admired, and respected...and tonight is no exception."
-Art Awerkamp

4) "Baseball scouts said that Jeff was “on their radar”. So like Rich Cain, I guess those scouts couldn’t read a radar either."
-Steve Looten

3) "I know these guys said a lot about me tonight, but I had my hearing aid off so I don’t know what the hell they said."
-Jeff Dorsey

2) (After a mixup with the order of performers) "Rich [Cain], you’re as accurate with your emcee duties as you are with the weather."
-Steve Looten

1) "Jeff is the only person that needs to wear makeup to be on the radio."
-Jared Haugh