Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I lift up my arm.

Doctor: Don't do lift up your arm.

Dennis Oliver went to the doctor and said that his body hurts wherever he touches it.

"Impossible!" The doctor said, "show me."

So D.O. took his finger and pushed his elbow and screamed in agony. Then he touched his knee and screamed in agony. Then he pushed his ankle and screamed in agony. Everywhere he touched made him scream.

The doctor looked at Dennis and said, "you're not a hypochondriac, are you?"

Dennis said, "no, I'm a broadcaster."

The doctor said, "I thought so. Your finger's broken."