Stevie Nicks, Tom Petty, each and every one of the Heartbreakers and classic rock fans in general got dragged through the mud tonight on ‘American Idol‘ as Phillip Phillips and Elise Testone sucked all the sultriness and texture from the classic duet ‘Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around.’

In simplest terms, they played the song too darn fast, stripping away that pregnant, anticipatory pause between each of the verses and diminishing the impact of that wonderful, wonderful chorus.

Plus, Phillips was singing like he was in pain the whole time — we know he’s got some health problems, we hope that’s not it, but it seemed like part of his Dave Matthews-shtick — and Testone was picking some pretty odd places to show off her voice instead of servicing the song.

We thought for sure the judges would be on our side this time, but once again we were wrong — they loved it. We’ll let you guess which of these quotes came from Steven Tyler, Randy Jackson and Jennifer Lopez:

A) “Yo. Yo. Yo… That sounded amazing… that was great, that was great, very nice, both of you, very nice.”

B) “I just felt like, it’s one of those things, like, when you hear duets, and you, like, imagine you’re the girl and you imagine you’re the guy, and you wanna be the person, and that they’re talking to each other, that’s what I felt like when you guys were singing, I was like ‘ooh, I wanna be them! Are they really in love?’ You know what I mean? And I know you’re not.”

C) “Outstanding… couldn’t have been better. Phillip – that rhythm change in the middle of the song, I heard you man, it was beautiful, it was nice, as good as it gets.”

If you guessed “Who cares!,” you win. If you must know, it was Jackson, Lopez and Tyler, in that order. We respectfully disagree with all three of them.

Earlier in the evening, Phillips and Testone also separately tackled poppy, ’80s-era hits from both Genesis and Foreigner. You can check out his ‘That’s All‘ and her ‘I Want to Know What Love Is‘ over at Popcrush.

Watch Phillip Phillips and Elise Testone Perform ‘Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around’

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