Looking for a nearby place to crash? There are a few Airbnb options in the Quincy/Hannibal vicinity. Some nice guest bedrooms, a couple bungalows, and even downtown loft or two. Hell, you wanna camp in my backyard? I'm cool with it.

But if you’ve got the cash, allow me to share one more option for you.



This ginormous mansion along the Mississippi is right up the road in Hamilton, Illinois and can be all yours for the low low price of…wait for it…$10,000 A NIGHT!! On a budget? No problem. You can rent out the master suite for just $2,500 a night.

This insane house is brought to you by Airbnb user--and my future best friend--Jim. Everybody, meet Jim.


Jim only joined Airbnb this month, but damn if he doesn’t know how to make a splash! GO BIG OR GO BACK TO YOUR BIG-ASS HOME! AMIRITE, JIM!??

So about this house. There aren’t many pre-populated Airbnb amenities that this house doesn’t have other than “buzzer/wireless intercom” (come on, Jim, get it together!) But the rest are pretty much all there: Wi-fi, air conditioning, iron, hair dryer, game room, gym, movie theatre, 74-foot infinity pool…you know, the essentials.

Now the description says the house sleeps 16, which seems WAAAAAAAAAYY too low in my opinion. My dorm room at QU “slept eight” and I had a tent when I was a kid that “slept four”. And this could definitely hold two dorm rooms and four tents pretty easily. So, the best I can do here is assume that the seemingly arbitrary capacity is to keep 200 frat guys from wrecking the place at fifty bucks a head. So let’s add an imperative modifier here and say that the house sleeps 16 comfortably.

Let’s see, what else. Oh, did I mention there are jet skis? BECAUSE THERE ARE FREAKING JET SKIS!

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Jim makes special note of the safety features too including a first aid kit and a fire extinguisher—two of the few things in the house that I am allowing you to touch during your stay. Pretty much just don’t touch anything else at all.

Anyway, if you want to check out this mansion for yourself, hop on over to Airbnb and take a look!

UPDATE: A previous version of this story implied that airbnb user and original lister "Shawn" was the owner of this home (not Jim). The name and photo have been updated accordingly. How dare you lead me on like that, Shawn!?? I thought we had a good thing going here!!