Did you see the Parade Magazine in Sunday’s Quincy Herald Whig? In it was a story about lipstick entitled “Hot Lips”. I am writing this story primarily for my good friend B______, who shall go nameless to protect the guilty. According to the article, yesterday, July 29th, was National Lipstick Day.
I was not aware of it but I bet B____ was. The story says that the average American woman owns seven tubes of lipstick. It would probably be an average of 5 if it were not for B_____. I suspect she has at least double the average.
Now according to the article, you would expect sales of lipstick would be down with the economy the way it is these days but that is not the case. This apparently has been a trend in the past as well. When the economy “tanks”, lipstick sales go up. Why? I have no idea. Guess I need to ask B________.
I do know that there is cheap lipstick and expensive lipstick. How do I know that? Well, there was this one birthday party held for me when I wore a brand new white Eddie Bauer long sleeve shirt. That night the females in attendance decided to lather up their lips with lipstick and selected my shirt as a place to “leave their mark” (one of my better birthday parties, I might add). By the end of the night my white shirt was covered with a wide array of colors of lipstick. I figured that shirt was a “gonner” (as John Rooney of the Cardinals says). I did try to salvage it though and threw it in the washing machine and low and behold I discovered at that moment that some of those women where shortchanging me with “cheap” lipstick. Those lip-prints came out of my shirt and guess who’s lip-prints remained? B_______’s. Lesson learned by the Big Dog I guess. Can’t wait for my birthday to get here again, cheap or expensive lipstick.
I don’t understand why some people continuously lather their lips. I can honestly tell you the only lipstick I would ever want on my lips would have to come from another pair of lips.