Anybody Need a Pen?

I finally got a few minutes to just sit at my desk and take a deep breath.  That hasn't happened since August.

As I was sitting there I realized that on my desk is a carousel of pens I have accumulated over the past several weeks. They are in all different shapes and styles and one thing for sure is I didn't buy one of them.

That means I have somehow acquired a supply of free writing utensils simply by becoming the ultimate pen kleptomaniac. I guess subconsciously, if it is not in your hand or in your pocket I have managed to lay claim to that particular writing utensil. Dennis Oliver, are you reading this?

I do not know where to turn to for  help with my problem of  UPK (Ultimate Pen Kleptomania).  I can't go to my doctor with this. He no longer uses pens.  He now has an iPod. My god does that mean I will eventually develop into suffering from UIP (Ultimate iPod Kleptomania).  Which is worse?  I guess I'll take (so to speak) UIP.  At least it doesn't leak like UPK does.